JAKE CLELAND

In 2013, nobody will even bother asking each other how they are. Facebook will parse data from iTunes and Spotify to determine your state of mind based on recent song choices and automatically update your mood for all your friends, giving them the option to send one of 240 prefabricated consolatory messages for just $1.99. It’ll partner with the bottleshop you’ve checked into most frequently and automatically deliver a box of wine and a pack of cigarettes to your house, and flood your inbox with show listings of bands guaranteed to give you a wallowing great time. You will never have to put any effort into curating your miserable existence ever again, as long as you can afford $13.99 a month.

In 2013, nobody will even bother asking each other how they are. Facebook will parse data from iTunes and Spotify to determine your state of mind based on recent song choices and automatically update your mood for all your friends, giving them the option to send one of 240 prefabricated consolatory messages for just $1.99. It’ll partner with the bottleshop you’ve checked into most frequently and automatically deliver a box of wine and a pack of cigarettes to your house, and flood your inbox with show listings of bands guaranteed to give you a wallowing great time. You will never have to put any effort into curating your miserable existence ever again, as long as you can afford $13.99 a month.

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  9. jamiesoncox said: we are kindred spirits, you and I
  10. jakec posted this