November 2011
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"We Won't Be Bought Or Sold / Just Like You"
It’s hard to write about appreciating pop-punk without the odour, reeking from sweaty keds and tube socks, of that generational malaise they call Prolonged Adolescence. But if adolescence was a marketing invention and never really existed, as the unromantic and disenfranchised are so quick to remind, then maybe prolonging it is really in the sincere spirit of co-opting commercialism as a...
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Fucked Up.
A while ago I was lying in bed with a girl with who, for the first time in my life, I’d said, “Actually, can we not have sex?” and I was trying to explain why David Comes To Life is my favorite album of 2011. Terrible, I know, but anyway. I used the analogy of sedimentary rock, where the top layer was Pink Eyes’ abrasive voice, and beneath that were those really tough...
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“Drop by painstaking drop dripped the coffee. Murphy watched, transfixed. I made...”
– What an asshole.
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“It started as a challenge. A patently absurd challenge. Could one writer keep up...”
– Y’know sometimes when I have a strong antipathetic reaction to something I have to check myself, from years of playground conditioning: am I just jealous? It’s undeniable that relative status plays into any judgement so that maybe I am jealous that instead of being a successful writer...
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Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing go the bells for the very last time, for the school year anyway, and for the next six weeks the pavement will be filled: kids! Living slow and not dying young enough. Youth is wasted on the young, it’s true. They’re deader than we are, like petulant Alzheimer’s victims, oblivious to all but the immediate present, and it does nothing to speed...
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“This EP is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. The two guys behind...”
– Polaroids of Androids
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I Am The Sexiest Man Alive.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is me, reflected in the mirror I have mounted on my ceiling. I’m never worried about it falling and having its broken shards destroy my face because I know mirror-me would never do that; whatever hurts me hurts him, and we both love being the sexiest man alive. When I walk out of my house - totally naked, of course - traffic literally...
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Royal Headache
A while ago, when we were really into hypothetical questions, a friend asked me “Would you rather write one book that is really successful but never have anything else you write become successful, or be able to write books for your lifetime and have each one become moderately popular but never critically acclaimed or best-selling?”
More recently, infamous music critic Everett True...
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“I’m the Kurt Cobain of tumblr.”
– Jake Cleland, 2011. (via monsterpussy)
Always wanted to be quoted out of context. Just like Kurt Cobain.
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GET DEM PAGEVIEWS: A Q&A W/ Writer-Hot Sheila...
Sheila McClear. Author, dreamweaver, visionary, plus fashion journalist for the New York Post. We talked about Michigan, Wall Street, and her stint as a punk rocker.
There are only a few bits of advice I really treasure: one came from my friend Norman right before I reviewed a music festival on New Years, he said to ask myself “What is it about this performance/festival that is so unique...
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Watch
The Death Set - “The Mess Up” (DZ Deathrays cover)
This is the best music video that came out today.
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Somewhere on the grounds of a prestigious college there’s a girl sitting in a library still rubbing sleep out of her eyes because it’s so early and starting to get cold but also to dissolve the one or two tears that escaped the vault and prevent them from damaging the pages of her engineering textbook. She’s beginning to cry because today is exactly 365 days since the first...
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“As if I walked into the room to see my ex-girlfriend / (Who by the way,...”
– “It’s Never That Easy Though, Is It? (Song For The Other Kurt)” by Los Campesinos!
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Somewhere in the inner city, but specifically in the back of an extremely cool but relatively expensive cafe on Spring Street, there’s a 24-year-old guy hunched over a sink thinking about the girl who just started working there. His first thought upon seeing her was “Damn girl” but then his second thought was “Wait, shut up,” because he sometimes wonders if real...
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52 Albums: #33
Growing up I always assumed Oasis to be the people’s champion of British rock, and that was a mass decision I could get behind. I assumed this because I rarely heard Blur, so the only song I knew by ‘em was via watching the “Song 2” (or “that ‘woohoo!’ song”) video on Saturday mornings, in which they jumped around looking indistinguishable from the...
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Somewhere in the world, in the suburbs probably, there’s a sixteen year old with his arm sticking out of his second-storey bedroom window holding a cigarette, because even though his parents are pretty chill and he saw them smoking weed that time they’d still get mad if they saw him smoking. He’s smoking Parliaments because he heard about them in a song about a music festival by...
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“I often return to this line from Simon Reynolds’ Retromania: “Unlike...”
– Lindsay Zoladz’s Blouse review is seriously my shit.
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“Our dreamship’s destination is The Mint, a karaoke bar where Campesinos!’...”
– David McNamee, Plan B Magazine #35
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